Funny Quotes to Use in a Speech on Weight Loss

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Quotes tagged as "weight-loss" Showing 1-30 of 223

"Get Off The Scale!

You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!"
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

"I am not a broken heart.
I am not collarbones or drunken letters never sent. I am not the way I leave or left or didn't know how to handle anything,
at any time,
and I am not your fault."
― Charlotte Eriksson

"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
― Erma Bombeck

"Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment."
― Drew Carey

"She'd even violated the only sensible rule of dieting she'd ever run across, the sage advice of the Muppets' Miss Piggy, who recommended never eating anything bigger than your head."
― Susan Donovan, He Loves Lucy

"I looked at him nonplussed. I realized that I have spent so many years being on a diet that the idea that you might actually need calories to survive has been completely wiped out of my consciousness. Have reached point where believe nutritional ideal is to eat nothing at all, and that the only reason people eat is because they are so greedy they cannot stop themselves from breaking out and ruining their diets."
― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

"It was after I first began to uplift my thoughts a bit that my cravings for junk food started to dissipate. I did not connect the two at that time. First, I simply noticed that I didn't need to sleep so much. It took a while before I realized that in addition to my improved energy level, there was a direct correlation between chewing on mental garbage and putting garbage in my mouth."
― Holly Mosier

"You want to know the story? I'd be happy to tell you. I think I have just enough caloric energy stored up to make it through the telling of the tale. It's short. I am monstrously fat. I am a glutton. My wife was disgusted and repulsed. She gave me six months to lose one hundred pounds. I joined Weight Watchers . . . see it there, right across the street, that gaunt storefront? This afternoon was the big six-month weigh-in. So to speak. I had gained almost seventy pounds in the six months. An errant Snickers bar fell out of the cuff of my pants and rolled against my wife's foot as I stepped on the scale. The scale over there across the street is truly an ingenious device. One preprograms the desired new weight into it, and if one has achieved or gone below that new low weight, the scale bursts into recorded whistles and cheers and some lively marching-band tune. Apparently, tiny flags protrude from the top and wave mechanically back and forth. A failure--see for instance mine--results in a flatulent dirge of disappointed and contemptuous tuba. To the strains of the latter my wife left, the establishment, me, on the arm of a svelte yogurt distributor whom I am even now planning to crush, financially speaking, first thing tomorrow morning. Ms. Beadsman, you will find an eclair on the floor to the left of your chair. Could you perhaps manipulate it onto this plate with minimal chocolate loss and pass it to me."
― David Foster Wallace, The Broom of the System

"Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten thousand suns. So when I walk - nay, crawl - out of here at the end of my workouts, I want to lull myself to sleep by picturing my very talented and inspirational trainer getting hit by a bus. A bus that I am driving."
― Jen Lancaster, Bright Lights, Big Ass

"Weight loss is not the key to your dreams. The truth is there is no lock and the door is flimsy."
― Golda Poretsky

"Sometimes customizing is necessary because of an injury or the inability to do, for a short or long period, the kind of exercise you formerly did. When you're used to customizing for fun, doing it under duress won't seem like such an imposition. Either way, experiment until you find activities that make you happy as well as healthy. Choose your exercise using the same criteria you'd apply to choosing a date--that is, attractive to you and able to hold your interest for an hour."
― Victoria Moran, Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body and Revitalize Your Spirit

"If I hired one of the stock boys to chase me around the store with a licorice whip, I'd be thin by Christmas."
― Jennette Fulda

"...the reward centers of the brain--where the pleasure of those high-calorie foods registers--also respond to other substances that bring about pleasure....But those reward centers also respond to other gratifying things, like watching a sunset or experiencing a loving touch...So while you may not be able to change the wiring in your brain, you can "feed" those reward centers other pleasures...Biology isn't destiny when you have effective strategies..."
― Bob Greene, The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy

"Weight loss doesn't begin in the gym with a dumb bell; it starts in your head with a decision."
― Toni Sorenson, The Great Brain Cleanse

"Then there was the realisation that I didn't actually feel that much better when I was thin(ner). In fact the 'thin' version felt worse because I lived with hunger clawing at my stomach all the time, and in fear that I was going to get fat again. After years of neuroticism I'd finally understood those who loved me would continue to put up with me fat or thin, and those who didn't ignored me. As a middle-aged woman I was pretty much invisible anyway. To pass unnoticed through an image-obsessed society is surprisingly liberating."
― Helen Brown, After Cleo

"Associated with this weight gain are increased risks
in adulthood for joint problems, angina, high blood pressure, heart
attacks, strokes, type 2 diabetes and, ultimately, premature death.
Outside of the human costs, health experts estimate that treating
adult obesity-related ailments will cost the American economy
nearly $150 billion in 2009."
― Jeff Schweitzer, Calorie Wars: Fat, Fact and Fiction

"No cookie is a good cookie"
― Pete Abilla

"Not only weight loss surgery is unnecessary but also it deprives human being a normal life. People after surgery would never be able to enjoy their food ever for the rest of their life whether it is Christmas or they are on their holidays or their child birthday or any other festival.

List of problems and complications after the weight loss surgery operation are endless as one may get additional problems such as Hernia, Internal Bleeding, Swelling of the skin around the wounds, etc. I wonder how many weight loss surgeons advice about weight loss surgery to their own family members."
― Subodh Gupta, 7 Food Habits for Weight Loss Forever

"He who makes fun of a short and fat man's weight is much less cruel than he who makes fun of his height."
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"It's called the FATLOSE trail. FATLOSE stands for 'Fecal Administration To LOSE weight,' an example of PLEASE— Pretty Lame Excuse for an Acronym, Scientists and Experimenters."
― Mary Roach, Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal

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Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/weight-loss

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